and together we dance
there comes a person
sometimes only once in a lifetime
who sees you in a way other eyes cannot.
beyond your flawsand insecurities
and the incessant way you chew your nails.
with a devotion that holds you close
even when apart
for neither time nor distance
may weaken or sever
what can never be
either. ever.
there comes a person –
at least once in this lifetime
who knows you like you’ve let no one else
and still loves you …
even likes you
despite you.
he makes you laugh,
she lets you sing -
and together you dance,
one in the lead
the other in tow
though which never matters.
there comes a person –
in my lifetime and yours
whose smile is contagious
whose touch you crave
whose arms provide solace
and whose snoring is tolerable.
some call this person, lover
others, friend.
but i am one of the truly lucky ones –
for mine is both.
blueberry quinoa muffins
you know the joke?
how do you know if someone’s vegan?
they’ll tell you!
yeah, that’s me. my husband gave me a day without cheese – but i’ve lasted nearly 30. (so there!) thanks to great recipes, the discovery of quinoa, and a leaner more energetic me – i’m actually enjoying the change.
so every now and then, i’ll post a recipe that has caught my taste buds. like this one: blueberry quinoa muffins. i found it in march yoga journal, though made a few of my own adaptations.
you know how i know this is good enough to share? my boys ate them. the big one AND the little one. and when a recipe passes the boy test in my house – it’s a keeper.
blueberry quinoa muffins
1 cup cornmeal
1 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 salt
1 cup cooked quinoa
1/2 maple syrup
1/2 cup vanilla rice milk
1/2 cup apple sauce
1/4 cup canola oil
1 cup blueberres
1. preheat oven to 375 and line muffin tins.
2. in a medium bowl, combine cornmeal, flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
3. in a separate bowl, whisk together cooked quinoa, maple syrup, rice milk, applesauce, and oil.
4. combine wet and dry mixture – then fold in blueberries.
5. spoon batter into tins and bake for 20 minutes.
Dear Yoga Teacher:
I don’t know if you realize – but the whole world is watching you. Many are waiting for you to falter … waiting for you to fail.
So please … please, remember why you chose this path – using the following as your compass:
- Stay humble. My friend Kevan says, “Only when Eddie Vedder starts teaching yoga will I believe that yoga teachers are
where's the yoga?
ROCKSTARS.” Though your classes may be busy and your face may grace the magazines – you are NOT Eddie Vedder. Don’t believe your own press. Heck, don’t even listen to your own press. Because a great yoga teacher can teach to one person with the same enthusiasm and love as if to a room of a hundred.
- Remain open. I know you found your truth, but your truth is not everyone’s. I know you’ve been to India, hung with the enlightened, maybe even spent time in a cave (though, why?) – but a place on the map does not grant you wisdom. There is still so much you can learn from experience, from a teacher, and even from a student like me … no matter WHAT your ego says.
- Practice. And specifically, practice what you preach. You want me to face my fears? Face yours. You want me to be honest and kind? Please do the same. Don’t invite me into a space you are not willing to inhabit. We have a name for that kind of behavior and it begins with an “H.”
- Honor the Commandments. Don’t cheat, steal, lie or harm. And for heaven’s sake, please don’t covet thy student’s body. Nor that adultery thing either. This is yoga – not speed dating, got it? Good.
- Be Compassionate. With your words and with your actions. Always remember what it’s like to be a beginner … to have a rough day … to be fearful … to be discouraged. Be willing to step out of your own shoes and into the shoes of another. And while you’re being compassionate, a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T wouldn’t be so bad either.
You are neither a rock star nor a god. You are human – and will make mistakes. So own them. Learn from them. And don’t make them again.
Remember, the world is watching. And by the way – so are we.
Sincerely,
Your Students
morning menu
wouldn’t it be nice if we all could have one of these by our mats?
get yours today! ASHTANGA ASSIST MENU2
NOTE: updated!
like nails on the shala floor
ever feel like you are just not getting the love in your mysore practice?
lets face it, in a crowded room with only a teacher or two available, it’s a downdog eat downdog kind of world where sometimes one must resort to extraordinary measures in order to get noticed. luckily, i know a few things you can do that will get any ashtanga teacher to literally leap across a row of rugs just to get to yours …
1. mudra up the undbound hand… in trikonasana, grab that big toe with one hand, but then make that same gesture with the hand that is raised and i promise you – you’ll think you were offering up the bird with that quick, swift response you’re sure to get.
image by sarah gormley
2. close your eyes and open your mouth … and just in case you’re not sure anyone is looking (i mean, your eyes ARE closed, after all), make sure you let a big ‘ol sigh go just so the teacher can see your tonsils red glare. like nails on a chalk board.
3. throw in a few dance-like moves … you know, like in utkatasana. makes sure you squat low, reach waaaaaaay back with your arms, then sweep the forward and up. or from downdog, lift the leg high and sweep it forward for your warrior. or how about a nice deep backbend to start your sun A? it may look pretty – but it’s equivalent to wearing a tutu in the military. and your drill sergeant WILL note your name going forward.
4. carry a few blocks, a strap, and a blanket over to your mat … and proceed to build yourself a little fortress of props. a teacher will promptly be over to retrieve before you can say iyengar.
5. bust out a handstand after prasarita D … didn’t kino say that was cool to do? oopsie, my bad.
6. skip a posture … but make it a good one. not a forward bend, but say … supta kurmasana? or kapotasana? or my personal favorite, supta vajrasana! yeah, that shit won’t fly and a teacher will be on you like a fly on honey.
7. add a posture … yet proceed here at your own risk. you’ll get attention for sure – but be careful what you wish for. and don’t say you weren’t forewarned.
8. take child’s pose … and when the teacher asks, what the hell do you think you’re doing? innocently answer that you were tired and promise never to do it again. then don’t (except after headstand, of course.)
9. make noise … hey! you know what they say about the squeaky wheel. what kind of noises? grunt. darth vader breath that makes ujjayi breath sound like a whisper. curse. ask your neighbor for help. moan. giggle. only, never complain. if you complain, the teacher (ahem: keith moore) will add sun salutations (the B kind) to your next visit. so complaining ain’t worth the attention it’ll get you. just sayin’.
10. and if all else fails, let the teacher know before you begin that YOU are a yoga teacher too! … hehe. tell ‘em all about your 200 hour yoga alliance program and throw in for shits and grins, just how packed your classes are. oh yeah, and be sure to write me and let me know how THAT works out for you! :)
try one, or several from the list above, and i promise you, you’ll be back to hiding in a corner, doing your time, praying no one even notices.
i’ll meet you there!
trust the process
we all do it. get so caught up in the day to day trials and tribulations of the climb, that we forget – to trust.
just in case you’re one of the few people not annoyed by all my picture posting on facebook, and therefore, didn’t know – i’m in montana, spending time with my family. montana is our other hOMe and the place we go to connect, and sometimes – disconnect.
last night, we all gathered in the living room, playing some mean games of scramble and scrabble. and today, the oldest will take the youngest snowboarding – a relatively new sport for him.
she looks after him – and he looks up to her. i guess you could say, they love each other. and even better, they like each other, too.
it wasn’t always like that, though. there were times when they were growing up i doubted. the teasing … the fighting … the jealousy … love each other? sure. like each other? not so sure.
and yet, there were also times i could see a bond, stronger than the momentary squabbling. in good times and in difficult times, we stuck together. they stuck together … in support and companionship.
so all i needed to do was trust. believe in the process. trust where i’m going and let that faith insulate me from the inevitable trips and missteps along they way.
heck – that’s all PART of the process!
often i judge my yoga practice the same way. “that was a good practice” vs. “that was a shitty practice” gets in the way of: that was simply a practice. good or bad, makes no difference.
because each is part of a greater system that will work – if i let it.
family camping trips, evening meals, wickedly competitive board games, and even the household rules are all far more important than who got the bigger bowl of ice-cream.
just as daily practice is way more meaningful than whether or not you got your jumpback today.
so stop analyzing every little nuance and trust the process. believe in the system and just keep at it every day. and in the end, you might not just love your yoga – but maybe even like it a little too.
we decide …
the future. more specifically – the future of yoga.
last weekend, i had the real pleasure of participating in greg nardi’s ashtanga yoga philosophy workshop.
predictably, the conversation turned to the recent turn of bad yoga press. and here’s what greg had to say:
this yoga is a living tradition. in the beginning, we are happy to be fed information and be led – but at some point in our practice, we must become educated and accountable.
because this yoga is a living tradition - and we are deciding about its future, right now.
this gave me pause. he also said, good yogis question themselves – and so, i did just that.
what am i practicing … and promoting? while physical fitness is and should be important – so is spiritual and mental fitness. my practice may begin on a yoga mat, it’s critical that it doesn’t end there, too.
almost every religion holds one constant: God is within. it’s true – yoga is not a religion, but we too believe that deep within each of us is the bliss of being one with God. unfortunately, we have layers that make it difficult for us to find our way there. the outer most layer is our body, of course. so it’s just perfect that this is where we often start in our practice.
but at some point, we must begin to work our way in. learn to control our impulses and reactions, work with our emotions, steady our mind, and eventually find our way back to the place where we are one with our God once again.
you know, we end most classes with the word, namaste. to me, the most beautiful definition of the word comes from Mahatma Gandhi:
I honor the place within you where the entire Universe resides; I honor the place within you of love, of light, of truth, of peace; I honor the place within you, where, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.
and so, while you may see me on my mat, wrestling with my bind or trying to balance on my hands - please don’t be fooled. because what you can’t see is the wrestling of my ego, the steadying of my mind, and the effort i am making to find my place inside me – of love, of light, of truth, and of peace.
a place where there is only one of us. with God. it’s a place where we can meet. in fact, i hope it’s our future..
namaste.
kale is still a 4 letter word
Today is day 18 of my 21-day Vegan Kickstart experiment.
And no one is more surprised I’ve made it this far than my husband, who gave me until dinner that very first night.
Actually, I take that back. I am more surprised.
Because I don’t cook. (Or not well). I don’t eat leafy salads. (Kale is a 4-letter word ‘round here). And a trip to the grocery store takes me no less than two hours as I wander in and out of aisles in an attention deficit haze.
And yet …
Here I am. And here’s what I’ve learned:
- I freakin’ love quinoa. My husband thought I had a speech impediment the first time I announced this for dinner – he actually asked me to spell it. My favorite recipe? The fruited breakfast, only with berries instead of apricots.
- I have more energy. Waking up at 3:45 am, 5 days a week, for a 90 minute yoga practice, followed by a day that includes teaching classes, meeting copy deadlines, and nagging my teenage son about his homework – this boost was well noted and much needed!
- I wasn’t hungry. Understand … I’m always hungry – so this was huge. As it turns out, I can eat as much beans, grains, fruits, and vegetables as I want. And I do. And the beast is full. Finally.
- My Vita-mix rocks! From an easy-bean dip to amazing smoothies, I use it every day. (My favorite smoothie? 1 cup soy yogurt; 1 cup orange juice; 1 frozen banana; handful of frozen mango chunks)
- I don’t have to eat salads. Well, not the leafy kind anyway. And recipes like this Couscous Confetti Salad I could make in bulk and store for quick snacks later in the week. I still hate kale. Please don’t send me any more recipes. I realize vegangelists think it’s the new chocolate. It’s not. I’m done. Turns out, I’m just not that into it.
- It’s all about what you’re used to. I never NEVER thought I could learn to like cereal with soy milk, or coffee with soy creamer, or pasta without cheese, or even bread without butter … but I was wrong. I can. And I have.
- Size matters. I lost 5 lbs. And it’s quite startling how a few pounds can make all the difference in my twists, binds, and inversions. I’m talking Asthanga, of course. What else? Oh yeah, and my old jeans fit again.
- Shopping is easier with a list. It’s something my husband has been trying to tell me for years. My meals for the week are pre-planned, I make my list, I shop on Saturday and done. Still takes me 2 hours, but this time I come home with more than wheetabix, coconut water, and yogurt.
- I’m really really regular. As in every day. Twice a day. I’m sorry, TMI?
- I can cook … meals with 10 ingredients or less. Hey – it’s a start. Check out the three weeks of easy recipes here.
Caution: This Yoga might be Hot
All this buzz about yoga wrecking bodies … geesh. I feel the same annoyance I felt when McDonald’s had to start labeling their coffee as hot.
Yes, McDonald’s coffee is hot. In fact, most coffee is hot, unless you order it otherwise. And that’s why you don’t gulp it down – lest it scald the back of your throat.
And yet, that’s just what we do with our yoga. Yoga can be a challenging physical exercise. Still, we gulp it down. Then bitch when it burns.
Truth is, we are starting to treat our yoga just like fast food. We want a one stop, quick and easy, supersized yoga to go with our life on the go. If you ask me – and you didn’t, but I’ll tell you anyway – it’s actually kind of lazy.
And dangerous.
It’s not the inexperienced yoga teachers to blame. Nor the yoga studios on every corner. We are to blame. Because we value things like convenience and ease over effort and patience.
But just like you’re not going to get a well balanced, nutritional meal at a McBurger King - great yoga teachers are not made in 200 hours.
Call me a purist. Or militant. Or just grumpy, today. Whatever, but I’m not the one with the wrecked body.
And maybe you’re not interested in anything more than yoga on the go. That’s cool. It’s your life. Your body. Just remember, like the lid on the coffee warns – use caution.
Or you just might get burned.
it ain’t me babe
i had a real *oh shit* moment this week.
a student doing her yoga teacher training called me. she’s doing a project on the 8 limbs of yoga and asked if i could talk to her about the 8th and final limb. samadhi. like on camera. as if i even know what that is. or experienced it.
i wanted to answer in the words of the great bob dylan:
no, no, no. it ain’t me babe. it ain’t me you’re looking for, babe.
but i didn’t. instead i said sure. then thought, *oh shit*
because i’m still working pretty hard on the first three or four limbs – you know, trying to be a good person, get on my mat, breathe. samadhi?
still trying to control the monkey
well, that’s a ghandi. or a jesus. definitely not a peg. at least, not yet.
samadhi is a pure state of consciousness. it’s like being totally clean of all our misconceptions and distortions. where we see things as they are instead of how WE are.
yeah. i’m still trying for more immediate things like being kind and content … struggling for my bind in pasasana and my heels in kapotasana, most mornings by 5 am … and breathing, of course. that’s always important.
like i said, i’m way behind. or am i …?
the eight limbs are about cleaning ourselves up. in fact, many would say samadhi is actually our natural state or true essence. that it’s nothing we must go out and look for – but something we need to reclaim. it’s buried under greasy layers of doubt, fear, greed, disease … you name it. if we can clear all that shit away – voila! there we are!
patanjali gets that this is going to take some work. in fact – what it takes is discipline. pure and simple – and really really hard. that’s why he starts us off with the basics. things like social and individual discipline, or being a moral and descent person. and then we move on to asana, or the physical exercises.
and i hear it again and again … “jumping around, twisting yourself up -that’s not yoga. that’s gymnastics.” but i tell you what – check in with any gymnast and i bet one thing you’ll find that they have besides a bendy, strong body … discipline. why do i get up at (now) 4 am? practice this crazy asana for almost 2 hours? change my eating and sleeping habits? discipline, baby. ain’t no way two ways around it.
reading kino macgregor’s blog of her new year’s conference with sharath in mysore, she loosely quotes her teacher:
Patanjali says yogas chitta vritti nirodah: yoga means to bring your senses in control. Thought waves are often so strong that you cannot still the mind, once you still the mind that is yoga, meditation and union. For that you need to develop certain discipline is needed within us. For discipline you need to practice asanas so the faculty of mind control will be slowly developed by you.
in the ashtanga method, we train our breath, our bodies, and our focus. pull in our senses (pratyahara) and concentrate (dharana) while we are “jumping around, twisting ourselves up.” it takes practice. and if i’m any example – a lot of it! hence the rigorous 6 mornings a week. dedication. discipline.
yet this IS the gateway in. the way we peel back the layers and return home.
so, i’m sorry erica. though, i’ve been traveling this road for quite some time – i’m still not there. but good news! i’m pretty sure i’m on the right path and headed in the right direction. so i’ll let you know when i get there. then maybe we should talk. :)
lets be friends!
